Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams

Red, gold and green.  Red, gold and green.

On the way home from book club tonight — hosted so nicely by Jen — Boy George came on Charlie and I was truly moved.  I just love that song.  I think it’s really something.  I feel like BG was really onto something when he sang, “Would you say, I’m a man without conviction, I’m a man who doesn’t know How to sell a contradiction, You come and go, You come and go.”  For me, this means that the guy thinks his lover thinks he’s kinda lost and flaky, but he’s in love with this person that’s into him and then not into him.  And sometimes I feel like we could all be that guy.  You come and go, you come and go.  We’re often clicking on all cylinders and then the next day it’s just OFF.  You know?  We’re in synch and in love and giddy with glee and then it’s, “Who are you and why don’t you know me? And why are you doing this?”  There’s so much mystery involved in love.

Or is there.  I suppose it’s really not that complicated.  It’s just that people are complicated and maybe not linear and not always rational and emotions are so hard to explain and define.  Loving would be easy if the colors were like my dreams.  Meaning, I think, love would be easy if you would just do pretty much exactly what I want all the time without me having to explain it.

But that doesn’t work.  And love is hard.  Being kind, though, shouldn’t be.  And I hope very much to be kind. 

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12 Responses to “Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams”


  1. 1 Sarayu May 1, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    I think love is terribly complicated. It’s so hard to love someone, and even harder, I think to let yourself be loved. It shouldn’t be, but that is the sad state of affairs, these days. I blame technology and society, for teaching us impatience, individualism, both for growing high expectations. I digress.

    When it comes to love, I don’t think the hardest part is the falling into it, at all. The hardest part is the staying in it, when it feels so out of synch, no? We could all absolutely be that guy. At times, we are all that guy. I’ve been that guy (well, that girl, if you will) a number of times, and it’s an awkwardly lonely feeling. On the other hand, I’ve also been BG on the other end, singing why, and it’s no party. Alas.

    Love. What a pain in the ass. 🙂

    You are always kind. J’adore. J’teme.

  2. 2 kateandgracie May 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I agree completely.

  3. 3 Kristin May 5, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    The words below were written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, wife of Charles the famous aviator and rampant anti-Semite. (Also their baby was kidnapped or something and apparently it was as big a deal as the OJ trial.) Anywho, I stumbled upon this while looking for something to read in my dear friend Carla’s wedding. It reminded me of this eoquent and insightful post of yours about love, and the elusiveness of it. I like the first line best…

    “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

    The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”

  4. 4 kateandgracie May 6, 2008 at 11:41 am

    Holy cow with that insight, Fee. She was spot on. It’s so important to remember, and so damn easy to forget.

  5. 5 Heather May 6, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    I wanted to come up with some insight or pithee quote, but my facilities seem to be escaping me at the moment.

    So, I’m just giving a shout-out to all of your wonderful insights on love.

    And I like the idea that this blog is smashing the idea that 80s pop culture was superficial and meaningless.

  6. 6 kateandgracie May 7, 2008 at 9:42 am

    What in the hell is that purple thing?

  7. 7 Heather May 8, 2008 at 8:04 am

    I don’t know! I saw that Kristin’s is grey, Sarayu’s is blue. I guess I’ll take it as my avatar.

  8. 8 kateandgracie May 8, 2008 at 10:45 am

    Oh man, I didn’t even notice the others. WordPress is getting nutty.

  9. 9 Kristin May 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    I want the purple one!

  10. 10 kateandgracie May 8, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    You’re grey! Hahahaha! Blahblahblah.

    Sleepy store.

  11. 11 brady July 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    I remember when I was little I taped a cassette player to the front of my blue schwin bicycle. I would play Boy George loudly and think I was cool.

    When karma chameleon would play I couldn’t pick out the words or didn’t care. It sounded like “comma comma comma comma comma comma comedian – red golden dream…”

    it’s funny how so many songs that I bopped along to when I was younger, sound bittersweet and melancholy when I think about them now.

  12. 12 brady July 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    Oh god… I’m pink.


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