Cruelty

My friend Sara commented on my last post, asking if I had seen the Marie Claire hoopla (her brilliant phrasing).  I had not, and so I immediately took to Google and learned that some genius had recently blogged about her aversion to seeing fat people making out.  Actually, she went so far as to say she is grossed out by fat people doing anything.  Of course, a lot of people responded with criticism.

Here’s the thing for me.  I think it’s great she posted what she posted.  In part.  I wish, though, that she weren’t so Brad Pitt about it and had even half of a sensitivity chip.  Not sensitivity as far as offending people (because she obviously knew she would), but sensitive enough to know that what she said revealed herself as a hateful, cruel person. 

It doesn’t bother me that someone would say, “I get kinda grossed out by fat people” as long as that person goes on to say, “And I know it’s mean and I feel bad about it.”  It’s sort of like the Juan Williams thing…He was expressing how he feels when a man in Muslim-wear gets on a plane.  He certainly didn’t seem to be condoning his feelings or bragging about them (at least I didn’t think so).  This woman, though, has the audacity and ignorance and general jerkstore-ness to say that she gets grossed out by fat people and then goes on to tell people not to eat processed foods.  She has no awareness that her feelings are horribly mean.

She stated in a national magazine for women that she is grossed out by overweight people doing anything.  Anything!  She is grossed out by fat people going to the gym, being at the movies, sitting in their car, breathing.  She is telling people — women — that fat people have no business existing in this world.  Or, I suppose, they can exist, but they should make sure no one sees them.

This really breaks my heart.  It is such a deliberate and cruel attack.  It is a sick statement that instantly dehumanizes so many people.  Her offer of “advice”  to get 30 minutes of exercise five times a week and to eat more fiber is trite and insulting.   People are overweight for any number of reasons, but almost never because they didn’t know that exercising is good for you or high-fructose corn syrup should be avoided. 

She’s just cruel. 

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10 Responses to “Cruelty”


  1. 1 Sara H November 1, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    The kicker was that when she apologized, she admitted to having been anorexic – why in the world a magazine would publish such an article from someone who has issues with food, body image, health, etc. just baffled me. I guess it was a blog, but really, there’s no editor?

    And I can’t decide how the apology made me re-think the article. Like you, I just thought it was mean with quite a touch of a superiority complex – trite, that is a good word to describe those health tips. But now I can’t decide if I’m even madder, or just really sad for that woman. Or maybe she’s not truly anorexic, it’s just a way to explain away what is a very terrible way to see people. Either way, Marie Claire, shame on you.

  2. 2 kateandgracie November 1, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    I don’t understand how anorexia has anything to do with an explanation/apology. If anything, I would expect it to work the other way — she should have more sympathy and understanding for weight issues. Geez. What a total ass.

  3. 3 Kateandgracie November 1, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Did anyone see today’s Oprah with Portia de Rossi? I’ve been DVR-ing Oprah in her final season (I probably haven’t watched a show of hers in more than five years – I heart DVR ). In any event, I am now enamored of de Rossi, who is actually Ms. Degeneres personally. Anyway, I highly recommend this episode, which contains highlights from de Rossi’s book. It’s heart-wrenching, amazngly honest and, ultimately, beautiful.

  4. 4 Kristin November 2, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    I did see it. She is just wonderful and warm and honest. Was interesting about changing her name at 15, and also kind of funny (two Amanda Rogers on track?!). I don’t think I’ll read the book (too wrenching), but it sounds like a real achievement on her part. She’s lovely.

  5. 5 kateandgracie November 2, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    That was so hilarious! About the name change, I mean. Funny, funny. I’m so glad you saw it as I really wanted to talk about it. She is a total gem — I had no idea. I don’t know that I can read her book, either. Wasn’t Ellen so cute when she was all, “How could she hate herself? She’s so amazing.” If they ever break up, I will be really devastated.

  6. 6 kateandgracie November 2, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Also, I think Unbearable Lightness is a genius title.

  7. 7 Kristin November 2, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    It’s a totally genius title!

    I loved when Portia said that she thinks she’s beginning to maybe even really love herself, because if Ellen loves her that much, there must be something good there. I mean, what more can you ask of a partner? If they break up I’ll cry. A lot.

  8. 8 Raoser November 2, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    I have to find it. Hulu, On Demand, whatever. It sounds amazing. I love Portia and Ellen so much.

    As for the Marie Claire article, I don’t know that I can add much other than I want to make sure not to click on it because I don’t want that horrible woman to get anymore hits or publicity or notoriety of any kind. First of all, I LOVE Melissa McCarthy. I think she is one of the most brilliant actresses I have seen in ages. She has incredible range but as a dramatic and comedic actress, and I’m sure she has battled plenty to be recognized for that. I don’t however, love the show. It pisses me off because her talents are so underused, and they use a bunch of dumb, gimmicky fat jokes, but of course that’s Chuck Lorre and of course all of this is beside the point. The fact that that woman has the nerve to write such horribly bigoted, vile and hurtful comments in such a cavalier manner is beyond disturbing. I can’t believe she didn’t think it would be offensive. I can’t believe it took a bunch of emails and comments for her to realize what she’d done. Bully indeed. And while it is sad she was anorexic herself, it also even more repulsive that she could then say such cruel comments without hesitation.

    This particular subject is very close to me as well. I’ve seen far too many people hurt themselves brutally because of impossible ideals. The ad industry, television shows, movies etc. torture women and men with images that seem real but are in fact lies. It takes starvation diets, hours of exercise, adobe photoshop and tons of bronzer to make these people look the way they do. And as always, when someone brilliant and talented and smart comes along who doesn’t fit the physical norm, someone like that miserable sad woman comes to comment on the superficial instead of the true radiance that is so poignantly visible. That one woman’s blog probably scared many women and girls into another round of physical torture. Her apology, whether sincere or not, will likely do little to turn that around.

    Whew. I guess I did have a lot to say.

    Sorry to rant. It’s why I almost didn’t comment on this one. Once I start, it’s very hard for me to stop.

  9. 9 Kristin November 2, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Sarayu – if you do find the Oprah, wait until you hear what Portia’s manager says to her after a fitting for a L’Oreal commercial. Ughs. Or maybe it won’t shock you at all! But, ew. Just gross.

  10. 10 Raoser November 3, 2010 at 11:51 am

    Oh no. I’m scared. I’m sure I will be completely shocked and saddened.


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