This parenting gig sounds like it’s just going to get harder; I have so much to learn. Thank God a few people have done it before I took a stab at it so I can try to copy their brilliance.
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life and puppies 
These articles totally stress me out (I don’t even know where we’ll put the piano!). If year one is any indication, you’ll be/are a great mom!
Liked the bf article, too. I ended up enjoying breastfeeding, and cleaning bottles is such a pain, but would have loved the extra sleep (and Dale might have appreciated the role).
Oh dear. I didn’t meant to stress you out. AO didn’t love the piano one, either. I don’t see myself being so disciplined about making sure Bear practices piano (or anything) so I can’t really relate to that part of the story. I just thought it was so moving to hear the kid be so damn proud of herself. As she should be. I hope I can help Bear realize she should be proud of herself for the things she does. Like almost standing on her own.
And I actually ended up liking breastfeeding and feeling like it was way easier than bottle-feeding — once that placenta came out of there. I did not like it, though, when Bear would just scream at my boobs. That was very lame of her.
She should NOT be proud of that. But, she should be proud of almost standing on her own. And being one!
I liked this one too. Seems the trying part/working through things is an important lesson. Plus it’s just damn awesome to hear a kid so proud of themselves for working hard and doing a good job.
Liked the BF/formula article too. I am still breastfeeding at 15 months but there were times when it was really tough for a variety of reasons (nursing strikes, teething, colds, etc.) Now it’s insanely easy, but I’ll probably quick sometime soon anyway because I’m just getting to that point. Here’s another funny thing – even within the breastfeeding “club” there’s social pressure – did you quit to soon? did you go too long? was it “just right” (whatever that may be)? did you bf exclusively for six months? Argh!! It’s really pretty crazy that we all spend so much time thinking about it. It’s also annoying that people act like it’s an all or nothing proposition. I pumped until about six months, then we fed both the kids formula during the day. That worked really well for me. There many, many variations of what a person/family can do and I’m glad for that. I really don’t like that it is portrayed to moms as an all or nothing proposition and the bf advocates don’t do themselves much good when they are so strict about it all should go down. There’s so much breastfeeding advocacy out there right now that it’s good to hear from another side too. Really, we should all be feeling pretty good if our kids are fed and healthy and we are sane, right?
This type of discussion often makes me think back to when I lived in Minnesota and wanted to get a second dog (a pug, more precisely.) My friend Emily (who’d just had a kid) commented that I should admit what I really wanted was a kid. But that wasn’t what I wanted, I just wanted another dog. I felt super annoyed that she superimposed her wants as my own, without even realizing it. I think about that conversation a lot when I see people debating what’s best for their kid parenting-wise, including breastfeeding, and it seems to always be some version of comparing and contrasting one another as parents, with judgment attached. It’s such a lose-lose proposition because we should all be doing what works best for us and works for our families and there can be and is a lot of variation in that healthy spectrum. I think in the end though, since there’s no certainty about how the whole parenting experiment is going to turn out, we look for validation that helps us to feel like we’re doing alright with the gig. I try to not engage in that type of comparing but I still do it anyway. I also try to realize when I’m doing it and when I’m judging because overall I think that’s pretty bad for women generally. (I still do that too from time to time, then I judge myself for judging 😉 As an aside, I am always curious about this whole phenomenon generally, so sorry if its boring and redundant.
Ok. There’s my rant for the day. Thanks.
Thank YOU! And amen times a thousand.
Not judging is hard. It’s an ongoing struggle to refrain from it. Sometimes it feels so good to judge. But I feel even better when I can be like, “How on earth does it matter to me? Cut it out, Kate.” I feel lighter after I let go of all the crap. But it’s hard. You know what? Life’s hard. I’d say it’s a good bet that most of us are just trying our best most of the time.