Archive for the 'craptastic treatment' Category



Three things

There are several things on my mind today, but I’ll bore you with only three of them.

One, today I saw something really baffling. First, let me say that it really bugs me when a parent is biking along with their child and the child is all helmet-ed up, but the parent is sans protection. For a lot of people, this is annoying because of the message it sends to the kid: when you’re old enough you, too, can choose to be an enormous idiot. And that message bugs me, too. But the bigger thing that bugs me — because, frankly, the message that adults can make choices that kids can’t is valid — is that it is a colossally dumb plan. What happens when you get hit by a car, parent? You’ve crashed and hit your head. Sure, your kid is fine. Except that she has a parent with a head injury (or is – God forbid – dead) that could have been easily avoided. Anyway, now for the even weirder behavior. Today I saw a man biking with a girl in the attached bike trailer. The girl looked about three. Maybe four. And guess what was on her head? Nothing! No helmet! Please PLEASE explain this. Actually, please don’t. I don’t want to know.

Two, (and this is completely unrelated) I saw this Kotex commercial last night that was sort of making fun of other tampon commercials. This young woman said to the camera, “How do I know if a tampon works for me? If I see a commercial with a woman dancing in circles.” Or something like that. And it was heavy with hilarious sarcasm. So the commercial then says something like, “Try our tampons. Try them for yourself. We are not pushing them in any annoying way. No gimmicks. Just try them. If you don’t love them, we’ll give you another box for free.” Uh, what? If I don’t love them … I get more of them? I’d rather just see the woman dancing.

Three, (and again, not related) Bear and I went to Target this morning because I decided I needed to suck it up and buy her a doll. She loves the dolls at day care and while I see this in her face, it never really occurred to me I needed to do something about it. And then yesterday, when we were at a friend’s house and Bear was playing with all of the little girl’s dolls, it hit me: Bear needs, and deserves, a doll. So, at 9:30 this morning, we headed to Target. I also needed some microfiber cloths to clean that damn smudge off my camera lens, FYI. We tool around the doll aisle and she alternates between jubilation and fear, which I think will seem very honest to you if you’ve seen that aisle. Anyway, fast forward to the check-out line. We place ourselves behind a couple and their son, who looks about Bear’s age. The woman leaves as if to go look for something else (though she does not return in my story and really is a red herring in this tale). The boy is being held by his dad and is looking sorta old mannish and worried; his brow is furrowed. When it’s their time to check out, the check out clerk coos over the boy. She says, “What’s your name?” and “He’s so cute!” I kinda think she’s laying it on a little thick. I mean, the kid is cute because he’s a little kid, but he’s not the kind of kid that makes people ooo and ahh. Unless maybe you’re the type of person that ooos and ahhs over every kid. Which she must be, right? Then she amps it up even more, asking the boy if he’d like a sticker. She holds the sticker out to him, gently, patiently, kindly. The kid takes the sticker. The clerk is glowing. Glowing, that is, until we start the check out process. Then it’s all, “Do you need a bag for this?” That’s. It. No, “How old is she?” No, “What’s her name?” Certainly no, “She’s so cute!” And absolutely no sticker transaction. I put on a brave face for Bear, of course, but Dear Reader, what the what was that? How. Rude.

Collosally unhelpful

You know how sometimes you feel like you’re the only one around you with any sort of competency? I’ve been having that feeling lately as I have been trying to deal with two totally different businesses. The first, Altrec, is a company I’d never heard of, which appears to be headquartered in Redmond, Oregon. The second, the collosal BMO Harris, is the Canadian bank that bought out M&I and that now holds the smaller of our two mortgages.

Let’s talk Altrec. My mom, sweetly, decided Bear needed a snowsuit. I disagreed, but grandma insisted and who am I to stand in the way? My mom bought one from Amazon, but sent it back because it did not come with the foldover sleeves and legs that would have kept Bear’s hands and feet toasty warm. In fact, I think she had to send two snowsuits back. So, for the third time, she turned to Altrec and ordered up a cute green North Face number (way too expensive) in size 12-18 months to be delivered to our door step in two days’ time. Well, it not only was not delivered in two days’ time, it came in size 6-12 months. Now, while the snowsuit probably would have fit Bear, it probably wouldn’t fit for long and I thought the larger size was the right way to go. So, I called the company and spoke with a lovely woman who apologized frequently, sent me a UPS label to return the snowsuit, ordered another one up (though they had only red left) and refunded the extra money my mom had paid for the not-so-quick shipping as soon as I asked her to do so. Ok, no big deal. AO went to the UPS store last week, paid $1 for a bag to ship the green snowsuit in and we were on our way. Last night we come home to a package from Altrec. I open it up and find a red North Face snowsuit size 6-12 months. Egads. Someone in the shipping department is messing with me. I call Atrec, speak with a much less lovely man who needs to speak with someone before he can process the necessary return, but takes my number and tells me he’ll call me back in a few minutes. He does. He emails me a UPS return label and that is that. We will go to the UPS store, pay another $1, and send back the snowsuit. In all, we will be $2 lighter, days older and have no snowsuits for baby bear. Sigh.

Now, as for BMO Harris, the level of incompetence is at a much higher level. Where to begin with this snoozefest of a story? In late 2007, I had to refinance my mortgages due to the pumpkin. M&I, my mortgage bank at the time, refinanced the mortgages for me, sold the larger one to Bank of America and held onto the smaller one. Last year, AO & I refinanced the larger one to get it out from the hands of BoA and into the gentle snuggle of UW Credit Union. When BMO Harris bought out M&I, our smaller mortgage went with them. The smaller mortgage was a five-year adjustable rate loan with a whopper of an interest rate around 6.5%. The bank withdrew about $281 automatically on the seventh of every month. At the end of 2012, I called BMO Harris to ask what was going to happen at the end of the year because the 5-year period was coming to an end. I asked about refinancing options. After spending what felt like hours on the phone, the woman with whom I spoke finally concluded that nothing was going to change because it was a home equity loan and HEL’s don’t have adjustable rates. Hmm. I thought this was a strange explanation, but it was the only one I was offered, the woman seemed so self-assured, I’d already spent too long on the phone and I was not sure how else to explore the issue. So, that was the end of that. Except it wasn’t. On January 2 of this year, I checked our checking account from my sick bed to discover BMO Harris had withdrawn about $192 from our account. Uh, hmm. I called the bank and, after being placed on hold multiple times so the man with whom I was speaking could consult with multiple people, was told that what had happened was this: when I had my loan with M&I, I had been paying more than I needed to in an effort to put more money towards the principal and now that BMO Harris was completely in charge, I was paying just the right amount. What? I was almost positive there was no way this could be right, but I didn’t know how to argue about it because, again, I had been on the phone forever, the guy seemed so sure of himself and why would I argue about paying less money? I hung up, baffled but worn down. A few days later, I checked the new statement for the mortgage on BMO Harris’s website and was not exactly startled to see that my interest rate had gone down from 6.5% to 2.8%. This was actually what I thought may have happened. Because interest rates are lower now, I thought perhaps my adjustable rate loan had been adjusted lower. Of course, this did not square with (1) the woman telling me my loan would not change and (2) the guy telling me the only reason for the change was I wasn’t making overpayments now. I noticed, though, that my loan amount for next month is slightly different than this month. It seems the interest rate must adjust every month, something I thought I had read in the fine print did not happen. So, I sent an email to the bank — hoping that maybe seeing something in writing would give them the chance to respond more thoughtfully and, gasp, accurately — detailing all that had happened and asking for an explanation. Last night I received a call from an 800 number, which I normally wouldn’t answer. I was feeling responsible, though, so I picked up. It was a guy from BMO Harris! I was so excited. He was calling to tell me that I would be receiving a letter soon that would explain what he was going to tell me, and I shouldn’t throw it out even though it may look like junk mail. Yay! This was getting good. I was going to get an oral explanation and something in writing. I. Was. Thrilled. He said, “Katherine, coming soon your automatic payments will have to come out on the 1st of the month. M&I had allowed you to pick a day in between the 1st of the month and the end of your grace period, but we can’t have that.” Wait, what? I said, my payment already came out on the 1st. Well, the 2nd I suppose, but it already came out early. “No, no,” he said. “Don’t worry. It’s not late this month, this is for next month.” Dude. I said, “I get that, but it’s already happened.” Pause. “Oh. I can’t see that here. I’m just calling to tell you about this letter.” Collosal sigh. My shoulders sink. “So, if you can’t see my loan, I suppose you also can’t answer all of the questions I’ve been asking about the issues I’ve been having with it?” “No,” he says. “But you can call our 800 number.” Yeah, thanks.

A word on hosting

To do or not to do: the cash bar version. I am not a fan of the cash bar. At both of my weddings (I know), it was very important to me that people enjoy themselves without having to pull out cash. When you invite folks to your wedding, you are often asking that they travel – meaning plane fare or gas money, as well as a hotel — that they wear fancy clothes and, perhaps, that take time off from work. They also frequently buy you a gift. That’s a lot. To ask them then to pay for their beer seems like too much to me. I wouldn’t ask them to pay for a drink at a barbecue in my backyard, how could I do so at my wedding? Now then, I acknowledge that not every one (a) sees things this way and/or (b) has the luxury of doing things this way. I will not argue that if you can afford to throw a wedding at all, you can afford to provide your guests with booze, but instead offer my thoughts on ways to manage your liquor bill reasonably. I have been to many a wedding where wine and beer is free, but cocktails cost some change. I have been to a wedding where the bride and groom have chosen a fun specialty cocktail to offer, as well as wine and beer. I think these are very reasonable ways to deal with alcohol expenses. I have been to the Miller Lite only wedding, which I think is really stretching things on the tack-factor scale. The worst, though, was the wedding I attended at a super out-of-the-way resort with a two-night minimum stay where, post-dinner, the bride & groom provided guests one barrel of beer and once that was empty, everyone was on their own.

But I guess that really isn’t the worst. The worst it seems is the latest (and only the second I think) Bachelorette wedding. Ashley Hebert & JP Rosenbaum wed December 1 in Pasadena. The big event was filmed and will air this week on ABC. Apparently, ABC paid for the event, but after production stopped, the bar went from free to cash. And, this being Pasadena, cocktails were in the $16 range. Holy tack-asaurus. Now, perhaps it was just bad planning, but if you’re going to get an essentially free wedding, the least you could do is pay for the booze. I do not recommend this approach.

Whoops!

Yowsers.

Speaking of boycotting…

See! I’m not alone in my Hyatt boycott…And these are even better reasons than my personal one.

And more here.